Y\u0131ld\u0131z yoku\u015funda ayk\u0131r\u0131 ad\u0131mlar\u2026 Kimi zaman aceleci, ne\u015feli, \u00e7evik; kimi zaman h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc, a\u011f\u0131r, dalg\u0131n\u2026 <\/p>\n
Ad\u0131mlar yoku\u015fu her g\u00fcn ba\u015fka ba\u015fka \u00e7\u0131ksa da y\u00fcz hep ayn\u0131d\u0131r: \u0130\u00e7ten, ne\u015feli, ayd\u0131n. <\/p>\n
\u00dcniversite! O yoku\u015fun ad\u0131mland\u0131\u011f\u0131 y\u0131llar… O \u015fimdi oldu\u011fumuz insan oldu\u011fumuz zamanlar… <\/p>\n
\u00dcniversite ne de\u011fildi ki o zamanlar? 11 y\u0131l bedenimizi ku\u015fatan formalardan soyunup, anfilere \u00e7\u0131k\u0131nca, \u00f6zg\u00fcrle\u015fti\u011fimizi sanmak. Bilimi kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 bir s\u00fcre\u00e7; gri okul binalar\u0131nda uzun uzun \u201ce\u011fitildikten\u201d sonra, \u00fcniversiteyi \u201c\u00f6\u011frenmek\u201d i\u00e7in bir f\u0131rsat, \u201cortalama yurtta\u015flar\u201d olmaktan kurtulmak i\u00e7in son bir \u015fans olarak alg\u0131lamak. B\u00fcy\u00fcmek. Ergenlikte u\u011fra\u015f\u0131p durdu\u011fumuz \u201ckendimizden\u201d ba\u015fka dertler oldu\u011funu farketmek, bu dertleri dert edinmek, \u201chayat gailesi\u201dne yakla\u015fmak ama \u201chayat\u201d\u0131n de\u011fi\u015ftirilebilir, iki elle yarat\u0131labilir, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnce ve emekle \u201ckendimizin\u201d haline getirilebilir bir \u015fey oldu\u011funu anlamak. Bu foto\u011fraf\u0131; kravat\u0131 fora etmi\u015f, g\u00f6mle\u011fin kollar\u0131n\u0131 s\u0131vam\u0131\u015f hocalarla ve uzun tart\u0131\u015fmalarla tamamlamak. Ama… Ama b\u00f6yle bir foto\u011fraf olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ger\u00e7e\u011fiyle de \u00e7abucak kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya kalmak. Yeni ve daha ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i bir hoca-\u00f6\u011frenci ezberi edinmek…<\/p>\n
Bizde \u00f6\u011frenciyle arada b\u0131rak\u0131lan derin mesafe, ula\u015f\u0131lmazl\u0131k ve resmiyet hocal\u0131\u011f\u0131n \u015fan\u0131ndand\u0131r. \u00d6\u011frenci anlamad\u0131ysa: \u00c7al\u0131\u015fsayd\u0131! Bulamad\u0131ysa: Arasayd\u0131! \u201cAma…\u201d ysa: O sizin sorununuz! \u00d6\u011frencinin c\u00fcrm\u00fc gelecekteki m\u00fchendis titri kadard\u0131r. Hocan\u0131n bak\u0131\u015f\u0131yla g\u00f6r\u00fcnt\u00fcs\u00fcn\u00fc a\u015f\u0131p ard\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rebilece\u011fi; bir kimli\u011fi, bir d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi, d\u00fcnyaya s\u00f6yleyecek bir s\u00f6z\u00fc, bir siyaseti, bir amac\u0131, yaln\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131, yoksunlu\u011fu, bir duru\u015fu olmayand\u0131r. Ve\u00a0 \u201cS\u0131nav ilk konudan, son konuya kadar!\u201d \u00f6\u011frenciyle kurulacak ili\u015fki i\u00e7in ne eksik, ne fazla; olmas\u0131 gerekti\u011fi kadar ve tamd\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Bir hoca tan\u0131d\u0131m, ezberim bozuldu. Bir hoca tan\u0131d\u0131m… Ders yapt\u0131, ders kaynatt\u0131. Dert dinleyen de bulunur belki, O dert anlatt\u0131. \u015eaka yapt\u0131, \u015fakaya vurdu, \u015fakaya katland\u0131.\u00a0 Bir hoca tan\u0131d\u0131m:Payla\u015ft\u0131, b\u00f6ld\u00fc, \u00e7o\u011faltt\u0131. <\/p>\n
Bir hoca tan\u0131d\u0131m, ezberim bozuldu. Cep telefonu yok, ne zaman, nerde olaca\u011f\u0131 belirsiz, \u00e7at k\u00f6\u015fede-\u00e7at kap\u0131 arkas\u0131nda. Ama yine de hep el alt\u0131nda. Kolay bulunan, kolay konu\u015fulan, kolay anla\u015f\u0131lan, kolay ula\u015f\u0131lan. E\u015fit i\u015faretinin kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda duran ve bundan \u015fikayeti olmayan. Bir hoca tan\u0131d\u0131m, her \u015feyi \u00e7\u00f6zen, dayan\u0131\u015fan.<\/p>\n
Bir baba tan\u0131d\u0131m, ezberim bozuldu. Her babadan daha emektar, daha cefakar, daha vefakar. Bir baba tan\u0131d\u0131m, ana gibi: Doyuran, y\u0131kayan, oynayan. Severken kocaman bir Efe y\u00fcre\u011fiyle…<\/p>\n
Bir dost tan\u0131d\u0131m. Bir s\u0131rda\u015f… Veren, payla\u015fan, omuzlayan ama ne bir talebi, ne bir a\u011f\u0131rl\u0131\u011f\u0131 olmayan. Bor\u00e7lu ve eksik kal\u0131nmas\u0131 ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmaz bir duru\u015fla, dostluk i\u00e7in daima haz\u0131rda olan.<\/p>\n
Bir insan tan\u0131d\u0131m Y\u0131ld\u0131z yoku\u015funda… O daha yoku\u015fu ad\u0131mlarken, bizatihi ad\u0131mlar\u0131yla ayr\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131 di\u011ferlerinden; ayr\u0131 olmay\u0131 hesap etmeden\u2026 <\/p>\n
Y\u0131ld\u0131z yoku\u015funda ad\u0131mlar… Onu g\u00f6r\u00fcnce bir yazar gelirdi akl\u0131ma: O\u011fuz Atay. Ad\u0131mlar\u0131 bir kitab\u0131n sayfalar\u0131 gibi ilerlerdi: Bir Bilim Adam\u0131n\u0131n Roman\u0131. Sa\u00e7lar\u0131 bir roman karakteri gibi dalgalan\u0131rd\u0131: Mustafa \u0130nan. Onu da roman gibi ya\u015fayan adamlara benzetirdim. Ve benim hocam oldu\u011fu i\u00e7in bu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceyle g\u00fcl\u00fcmserdim ayk\u0131r\u0131 ad\u0131mlar\u0131n\u0131n ard\u0131ndan…<\/p>\n
Hocam Ferit Attar sesiz, s\u00f6zs\u00fcz ayr\u0131ld\u0131 aram\u0131zdan. \u00c7abucak ve kimseye zahmet vermeden… Cebimde vefa bor\u00e7lar\u0131mla kalakald\u0131m, herkes gibi… \u0130\u00e7imden ge\u00e7en ama bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc yapmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z jestlerle, \u015f\u00f6yle a\u011f\u0131z dolusu \u201cCan\u0131m hocam, ne insans\u0131n sen ya!\u201d demeden…\u00a0 Bir kez de ben Onun i\u00e7in ko\u015fturamadan, hastanede refakat\u00e7i kalamadan… S\u0131rt\u0131ndaki yast\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00fczeltip, iki yudum su i\u00e7iremeden\u2026 Verdi\u011fim zahmet kadar de\u011fil, verdi\u011fi emek kadar de\u011fil\u2026 Bitirme tezimdeki bir te\u015fekk\u00fcr c\u00fcmleci\u011fi d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapamadan. K\u0131sac\u0131k ya\u015fad\u0131. Eylem\u2019e ve Efe\u2019ye bir \u00f6m\u00fcr boyu yetecek kadar g\u00fczellik b\u0131rakt\u0131. G\u00fcle g\u00fcle hocam…<\/p>\n
Nalan O\u011fuz
\u00d6\u011frencisi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Y\u0131ld\u0131z yoku\u015funda ayk\u0131r\u0131 ad\u0131mlar\u2026 Kimi zaman aceleci, ne\u015feli, \u00e7evik; kimi zaman h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc, a\u011f\u0131r, dalg\u0131n\u2026 \n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":40571,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4728],"tags":[710,709],"class_list":{"0":"post-2236","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-tmmob-yazilar","8":"tag-ferit-attar","9":"tag-nalan-uluturk"},"acf":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2236","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2236"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2236\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/40571"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2236"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2236"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/eonmeet.com\/pol\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2236"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}